Friday, June 1, 2018

Introduction

First day of a lovely English summer. And yes, it is raining.

Hey there, 


My name is Monika. And welcome to my blog. (?)


Wish I could introduce my self as some sort of influencing person, traveler or lifestyle and fashion guru. But I can't. I am just a simple person, who is tired of her job, and of her boring life. Why am I not making any changes you may ask... Well, I really wish I could. But responsibilities got me at the very young age, so all my dreams about ''leaving'' my life behind, packing most important stuff and just flying to random destinations settled down deep in my heart. So there I am now, in the United Kingdom. I emigrated from my home country in Eastern Europe as soon as I finished high school. I did try to get into University in my country. And I succeeded and was about to study English Philology, but you know that feeling, when you start doing something, and then it hits you in the head saying '' what are you doing, this isn't even your passion or anything, '' and I guess that is what happened to me. I do adore the English language, and I don't want to brag, but I think I am kind of good at it. But learning it full-time just wasn't what I wished for. So I decided to try my luck abroad, and since the English language is the only foreign language I can speak, and America is way too hard to get in, I've chosen England as my 2nd home. It's been almost 5 years now since the day I have moved into this country. And I do like it, sort of; I can't say I fully feel like home here because whenever I get off the plane in my home country, it just feels like I could lay down on the ground and kiss it from the happiness I feel when I am back there.


However, all I do from Monday to Friday is the same tedious job 8 hours a day. I guess that is how most of us live, eh?  But do we live, or do we exist? I feel like I am existing, working to survive, to have money to dress up and to eat. To pay for the roof above my head, and that is it. I lost excitement about living my life this way, I want to change something, I want to travel the world and live in most random places I can find, but my responsibilities are holding me back, my fear of failing is more significant than my dreams. Why does it even happen for someone who is only 23 years old? Shouldn't I be just running around, enjoying my life as much as possible, making memories that I can tell my grandchild when I am old?


I forgot to mention that I do have a boyfriend and a dog. My boyfriend lives the same annoying way as I do, working 8 hours a day, coming home to me, and playing his computer games. I guess the only one who's happy, is our dog, because he gets so much love from us, that anyone seeing it could get jealous. And I am also sometimes jealous of my dogs live. All he does is jumping around, fetching balls, giving kisses and wagging his tail 24/7... What a wonderful life isn't it...


The reason I am trying (can't say I will succeed on this, but I wish for it) to start a blog? All my friends are somewhere around the world, far away from me, busy with their own life. And I want and need to have a place to talk out what I feel, and what I think, I adore blogging for so long, and I finally got brave enough to try and start my own. I always care about the judgment that I can get from everyone I used to know, or I am still in contact... Because everyone knows me as a quiet and shy person, who don't do stuff like this. I guess we all change, and if you'd never try to change and do something you're passionate about, are you even a human?




and forgive me for my mistakes, English is my 2nd language, can't make it all perfect.. but then again... imperfection is also some kind of perfection  :)